Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Go Ninja Go!

Blue. Red. Purple. Orange. Cowabunga dude!

           

There are a few quartets that have appeared throughout history that can pull off the iconic reputations they've established. The Beatles, The Four Gospels, The Four Seasons, The Renaissance Artists, if you know anymore just shout 'em out. Now, out of the sewers, four completely radical reptiles have reappeared taking on the big screen in the coolest way possible. Leonardo, Raphael, Donatello, and Michelangelo are their names and keepin' it real is their game--- along with some sick karate moves and pizza on the side. You don't need me to tell you twice, it's the Ninja Turtles and they've been revamped for a new generation but still never seem to disappoint!

        Woahhh bro, hold on for a sec!    Let's not get too ahead of ourselves because the money-bags Michael Bay (director of the incredibly declined mishaps that became the Transformers Saga) wore the hat of Producer for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles this time around and it shows. BUT. Luckily the turtles themselves make up for his "flawless" taste with great added humor and zany comments that never seem to get old!

        Roll the credits, my shellular friend!   There are a lot of totally awesome things about this cast, though. Let's get the humans out of the way first. Megan Fox. She's April O'Neil, struggling rookie news reporter and the turtles' closest confidant.  For once, she has been granted as the top-bill in a major blockbuster and holds her own pretty well, surprisingly. Besides a few instances where she pushes the dialogue or takes her acting to a Shakespearean level of drama, her presence works but her chemistry with co-star Will Arnett (Arrested Development) lacks a some desired fluidity. Arnett is Vernon, April's cameraman. I'll just throw it out that it is safe to say he has been typecast into his own personality. The superficial, pathetic, douchy-voiced smooth man is pretty much what he does best and brings it into this film as well. Although his jokes and one-liners are funny at times, it would be nice to see him branch out in future roles.

         Turtle Time, dude!    The main attractions are green and ready to be mean. With their rival, the kingpin of the Foot Clan, Shredder is out on the streets of New York ready to takeover, it's time for Splinter (a wise Tony Shaloub) to reveal what all their preparation has built up to.

        Leonardo. The Leader. Johnny Knoxville takes his jackass once again to the big screen but in rare form this time as the voice of the blue mask. His comedic gravelly voice and cool intonation is refreshing and he leads the pack perfectly.

         Raphael. The Attitude. Alan Ritchson has the dumb jock persona down pat as Thad Castle on Blue Mountain State and shows up for work as well while wearing the red bandana and flexing his muscles.

         Donatello. The Brains. Tech saavy and donning four eyes, the goofy Jeremy Howard (The Grinch Who Stole Christmas) rocks the lingo that comes with the purple mask but it seems his voice was a bit distracting being a little too high for the part that Donny takes as one of the brothers.

         Michelangelo. The Kid. Sweet-talking, pizza-loving, nunchuck-wielding, and heavy-hitting. Noel Fisher (Max Keeble's Big Move, Hatfields and McCoys) steals the show as the fun loving orange masked brother steals the show. His young voice and upbeat dialogue make him the best-cast one of the four and he never fails in every scene.

         The cinematography is hard to keep up with at times and Bay's god-awful love for glare effects is something I'll never figure out (and he wasn't even in the director's chair this time!) but you'll have a good time watching it. For a new generation being exposed to the camaraderie and brotherly love that these four promote just proves that they have met icon-status and will never die as the masked-vigilantes that bring out the fun in all of us! GRADE 6.8/10