Transformers: Age of Extinction

Autobots: Roll Out... of Control

              Every action movie has an action hero that saves the day, or attempts to most of the time. Michael Bay takes on the fourth installment in what has gone on to become an international imprint into the interstellar mind. Transformers, Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen, Transformers: Dark of the Moon, and now (drumroll please)... Transformers: Age of Extinction. Before I dive into the cacophony of the most recent film, I will go on record saying that at least it has the coolest name of the four. It pains me to be truthful about this film.

Okay, deep breath, I'm ready....

The Age of Extinction is 2014's worst summer blockbuster. There, I said it. exhale.

            For those Marky Mark and The Funky Bunch fans freaking out at what you are reading, bear with me. When one thinks of Transformers films the first thought is not an expectation of killer dialogue or deeply involved characters. That's no secret and if you have been looking forward to that throughout the previous three films then maybe buy a different ticket this time around. The hundreds of millions of fans around the world (mostly grown-up 80's kids) who have loved each one of Michael Bay's renditions of Hasbro's epic action figures love it for one reason and one reason only: the action. Seems obvious, right? See? I'm a smart guy. But I digress, onward!

Mark and Jack, watch out!

            The biggest problem I have: that even the element that makes these movies so watchable is the exact reason it is unwatchable this time around. Explosions and insane stunts make up around 80% of the Transformers films and this movie screams nothing but budget cuts and pyrotechnic flaw. The second biggest problem: it is 2 hours and 45 minutes long! Taking about an hour off of this duration would leave for some of the audience's personal time to be salvaged from the unbearably shaky and distracting cinematography as well as Mr. Mark Wahlberg's new career rock bottom.

            Filling the top-billed performance as this franchise's new superstar, Mark Wahlberg himself has taken his muscles and his Boston accent alllllll the way down to Texas. He is Cade Yeager (that's pronounced "jager" to the college kids in the audience) and he works out of his barn as a picker that buys and sells things just like the guys on the History Channel. His life's work contains using his findings to construct robotic intelligence and then try to resell this for some kind of profit. He is also the incredibly over-protective father to his knock out of a daughter, Tessa (Nicola Peltz, Bates Motel). Her hunky Irish boyfriend (Jack Reynor) gets in the way and ruffles the feathers of the Wahlberg brother nobody wants to cross. There are witty jokes to be had when the daughter's new squeeze slips a kiss in front daddy but unfortunately none of that is found and when there are attempts to lighten the mood it is uncomfortable and just badly timed. Bad vibrations this time around, Marky.


            Michael Bay has constructed a template with these movies. Let me be more specific... just watch the first three movies and the plot never changes, especially now. Only the character names do. The newcomers here include a conniving and brutal Kelsey Grammar (Cheers) who is truly in rare form even with his deep voice that doesn't seem to quit. Stanley Tucci (Hunger Games) plays the billionaire who mirrors an even crazier Steve Jobs and is on the verge of developing something that could break Optimus Prime once and for all and save mankind from the evils of the Transformers!

            The Dinobots! How could I forget the Dinobots?! Mixing up the game are imprisoned dinosaurs that have been forcefully evolved into the prehistoric fiends that can be seen in a movie trailer near you.

            There were parts, however, that even had me on the edge of my seat and it was very very cool to see a Bugotti and Lamborghini join forces with the cast. The career of Nicola Peltz will now be growing faster than Optimus Prime can transform. That can be taken to the bank. Something else that can be taken to the same bank is the check that Hasbro and Mr. Bay will be depositing because this is a phenomenon that will never die despite the quality of the movies. Mark, we still cool? I'm still a huge fan, just go back to Boston and chill out for a bit with your brothers and don't forget to say Hi to your mother for me, okay? GRADE: 5.5/10

         

Maleficent

Every Curse Can Be Broken

            Go ahead, say it.... Okay fine, I'll do the honors, Angelina Jolie's cheek bones are as beautiful as the Rocky Mountains. Since I have never seen the Rockies in person, I'll just have to settle with Disney's make-up department's superb performance in transforming Jolie. Maleficent is exactly what one would expect as a timeless tale is adapted onto the big screen using today's technology. But, what makes this movie as real as the magic in it is the smaller moments that give Angelina Jolie the chance to be human after all.

            From the opening scene it is no secret that the magic Disney created in 1959 with the original Sleeping Beauty cartoon is still alive. Maleficent's childhood as a powerful and creepily horned fairy girl quickly moves into her discovery of true love followed by betrayal. Why someone would double-cross Angelina Jolie with horns and those eyes, I'll never know. Maleficent seeks out the royal newborn girl of her betrayer and crashes her christening party in commendable fashion only fit for the wicked. You know the rest of the story.

            First of all, this film does not go too far into the characters and it does not dwell on every single back story. Those are both good qualities. Being a Disney movie, albeit classic among classics, the drama and sensibility are expected and come with the package deal right off the bat. It's the job of contemporary filmmakers to not modernize too much. Modernity is a good thing too but over-doing it will cast a spell that'll bury the film altogether.

That's why Maleficent should be given credit.

          Angelina Jolie has the perfect face to play this part to begin with but the added effects are top-notch. The sculpted cheeks, piercing eyes, marble skin, and fiercely intimidating horns. Her smile, stare, and enchantingly executed British accent are all excellent and scene-stealing but what really draws the audience in is her ability to create small, intimate, even comical, moments with the big personality that comes with such a role. Including one part when she hisses at baby Aurora to scare her and after the child is not startled she grits her teeth in disappointment and mutters, "I hate you." Maleficent's malevolent laugh could have been capitalized a little more, but that's just a side note. Her co-star, Princess Aurora (Elle Fanning) is charming and beautiful beyond words. Her contagious laugh and smile have gotten her this far and will only take her higher being only 16 years old (how fitting!). She truly lives up to the status that surrounds the character of Sleeping Beauty and compliments Maleficent gracefully.

            It's impressive the way Disney carried out the visual effects in Maleficent but that doesn't mean all of it was needed. The pixies that take care of baby Aurora (Leslie Manville, Imelda Staunton, and Juno Temple) transitioned from small to life-size pretty well but it was the completely CGI'd creatures that needed a bit more work. The interaction between humans and graphics lacked a certain concrete element that kept it onscreen and 2-D. True love's heart is always in the right place and it's nice to see that Disney Studios have not lost touch with its legacy. GRADE: 6.9/10